Tagged: obsession

Discussion: Romance in YA Novels

No, this is not a discussion about whether romance is appropriate for YA novels, but rather a discussion of the romance we already find in YA novels.

I, for one, find most YA romances unbelievable and/or just plain creepy.  Yes, I know young love is crazy and even a little clingy, but some books take this to a whole new level.  In some novels, we see the male love interests take on qualities I would consider to be borderline abusive or worse: controlling what the main character does, who she talks to, giving her mixed signals constantly, etc.  The most notable example is, of course, Twilight.  However, I’m still seeing some of these behaviours in mostly male love interests in young adult novels.  It’s certainly not sending out any great messages to impressionable teens about what is love and what is not.

The other thing I have a problem with in YA romances is that they’re so unbelievable.  I know teenagers are particularly hormonal and romantic, but declarations of love after a week or so are just plain ridiculous.  In some books, the main character hardly knows her male love interest before she’s saying she loves him.  And when she realizes she loves him, suddenly she can’t live without him and has no interests outside her relationship with him.  Is that realistic?  Not really.  Is that healthy?  Definitely not.

Okay, I better stop now or I’ll be ranting all day.  Yes, there are some great, healthy relationships in YA (Katniss and Po from Graceling), but the trend of borderline abusive relationships is frankly disturbing to me.  But now I want to hear your thoughts on the topic: What do you think of romance in YA novels in general?  Are the portrayals of relationships healthy?  What is your favourite YA couple?  Why?

Short Story: That Lonely, Sinking Feeling by Gabriella West

That Lonely, Sinking Feeling by Gabriella West(Cover picture courtesy of Goodreads.)

San Francisco, mid-1990s. In this poignant and honest short personal memoir, Gabriella West goes back to her twenties to explore a confusing friendship with a married couple that started promisingly, but became a painful and obsessive love. Readers who have found themselves in destructive and addictive relationships will find this compelling reading.

[Full disclosure: Gabriella West sent me a free ebook in exchange for an honest review.]

I’ve read some memoirs, but never any short memoirs.  After reading That Lonely, Sinking Feeling, I think I may be warming up to short memoirs.  This was not something I’d normally read, but I’m glad I did in all honesty.

Gabriella West writes in a completely open, honest and introspective fashion.  She chronicles how her feelings for a married man became an obsessive and addictive love, partly because he was one of the first people that treated her well in her adult life.  Now, that’s greatly oversimplifying things, so if you want the full story you should read her memoir.  Throughout the 12 pages you really get the feeling that she’s thought about her downward spiral a lot.  That helps make this short memoir not only interesting, but adds some perspective to it.

If you’ve ever longed for an unobtainable someone, you’ll be able to identify with That Lonely, Sinking Feeling.  Gabriella West’s way of explaining the feelings in those kinds of ‘relationships’ is perfect; I couldn’t have said it better myself.  This should be required reading for pretty much everyone, especially those pining about unrequited love.  The only people I would not recommend this memoir to are those uncomfortable with frank discussions about LGBT relationships.  It’s not the main focus of the memoir, but I’m aware there are strong feelings about a topic like that, so you’ve been warned.

I give this memoir 5/5 stars.

Amazon*

*Only available as a Kindle ebook.