Merry Christmas!

Instead of the usual simple holiday message I thought that this year I’d spread the Christmas cheer through a series of stories highlighting the kindness of strangers.  The following stories are about what seem like everyday acts of kindness to the total strangers involved, but they made a huge difference to me.  So I hope that on this Christmas you’ll read these stories and be inspired to perform little acts of kindness all year long.

Breaking the Silence

I couldn’t have been more than 7 or 8 when a relative of mine took my sister and I out to lunch in the city.  My little sister is only 3 years younger than myself but I’ve always acted like her protector, especially around this relative.  He could be gruff with us kids and sometimes was downright cruel, as he was on this particular occasion.

The restaurant (I don’t remember what it was called) was having a buffet and this relative piled food on my little sister’s plate.  I was able to escape this because I could serve myself.  I quickly finished my lunch, but my little sister, who wasn’t really hungry to begin with, couldn’t finish.  She said she was done eating and asked our relative if we could go, but he said she had to finish everything on her plate.  He then went for a cigarette break, leaving my sister (who was now crying) and myself at the table.

I couldn’t help my poor bawling sister so I felt tears of my own drip down my cheeks.  It wasn’t long before I was sobbing too.  Everyone at that restaurant went dead silent, pretending not to notice these two crying children.  But then, one lady got up from her chair, walked the length of the restaurant and handed us some napkins, saying,

“It’ll be okay.”

I don’t know if she said anything to our relative on her way out of the restaurant a few minutes later but he came back in and said we could leave now.  It doesn’t seem like much, but that one lady breaking the silence was the first time I really began to question the ‘stranger danger’ mantra of the 90’s.  This would only be to my advantage later on.

Country Mouse and City Gentleman

Last year I took a trip to our nation’s capital city, Ottawa.  While I was there I decided it would be a great idea to go talk to my MP about some issues regarding foreign labour.  He agreed to a time and I was to meet up with him at the Justice Building a few blocks from Parliament.

After going to the Confederation Building, the Supreme Court and cursing Google Maps multiple times in multiple languages I found my way to the Justice Building.  My MP was not there, but his assistant was and he escorted me to Parliament.  This assistant seemed attracted to me and I was attracted to him in part because of the fact he respected my personal space and had wonderfully old-fashioned manners.  In other words, he was being a gentleman to this poor country mouse stuck in a city.

After my meeting with my MP, I was facing finding my way alone in the dark in Ottawa, a city I’ve never been in.  If I’m honest, it’s also the biggest city I’ve ever been in.  Normally I can act quite well, but the MP’s assistant must have noticed my distress and volunteered to walk me back to the Justice Building where I was supposed to meet up with a friend.  He was going totally out of his way to do this so I could make it back safely.  And to be honest, I was totally at his mercy when we walked back.  I had no idea where I was and the city looked completely different at night.  Still, he got me there safe and sound.  When my friend was nowhere to be seen, he called a cab for me and waited with me until it arrived.

He didn’t have to do any of that, but he did and I’ll always be grateful for that.

Dressing Room Angel

I’ve had body issues ever since I was nine years old.  They went away for a brief period and then came back with a vengeance when my chronic pain started.  You see, I can’t exercise very much anymore because it’s agonizing so I’ve gained about 5 lbs on a small frame.  I suppose it’s not noticeable to the average person but it’s noticeable to me and it really hurts.

In addition to some long-standing body image issues, I have shopping anxiety.  Shopping stresses me out more than anything: exams, city driving, being alone at work, etc.  I’m honestly surprised I haven’t fainted while shopping yet.  It really is that stressful, especially when it comes to clothes shopping.

Over a year ago I had to go dress shopping.  I was attending a wedding in late summer and going to see my very first opera in the fall of that same year.  I hadn’t been dress shopping in years, partially because I never really needed one until then.  So I went dress shopping more than two hours away in the city, totally determined to reach my goal.

By the time I walked out of the first store I was trembling with frustration and anxiety.  All the dresses made me look fat!  Or ugly!  Or fat and ugly!  I hated my body, hated my chronic pain and hated mirrors.  Still, I persevered and by the time I was in the fifth store I was nearly ready to burst into tears.  The frustration at not being able to find a semi-modest dress coupled with resurfacing body issues (some of them brought on by bullying) had me on the verge of a total sob-fest.  Then it happened.

I was in a change room in a store that didn’t have mirrors on the backs of the doors so I had to go down the little hallway to the big mirror at the end.  Tears welled up in my eyes as I opened the door and walked down the hallway to look in the mirror.  There was another woman looking at herself in the mirror and when she saw me she gasped and burst out into the biggest smile I’ve ever seen.  She turned to me,

“You’re beautiful!”

Those 2 1/2 words changed my whole day.  I smiled back at her and felt all the frustration and flashbacks go away.  In the end I bought the dress and another like it in a different colour.  It may not seem like much and she probably doesn’t even know how much it meant to me, but those words changed my life.  There are days now when I don’t feel the most confident, but in that dress I always feel beautiful.